The $500 S500 Limousine

[Beater400E]

If you've read the $400 400E thread you may already be familiar with this project. If not, welcome to my side quest.

The short version is that I'm putting together the most absurd vehicle possible with plans to run several Gambler 500 events throughout Idaho and the northwest this year. For the uninitiated, the Gambler 500 is a series of offroad rallies for cheap, impractical cars. The trails are not terribly difficult by offroading standards. The challenge comes from the car you choose to run. The worse the car, the better. Ideally you want something unreliable and totally impractical. That's why it's called the Gambler. You're gambling on whether or not you'll make it to the end, or end up broken down in the woods. There are no rules and it is not a race. It's just a bunch of idiots driving around in the woods in cars that really shouldn't be on the road at all.

This will by my 5th year running Gambler 500 events. My first year my brother and I ran the southwest Idaho Gambler 500 in a 1991 Geo Metro that had massive rust holes, a significant leak in the fuel tank, and a shopping cart in the roof. We "won" the event and took home the trophy by being voted the best "Gamblers" at the event by the organizers and other gamblers.



The following year I ran as a support vehicle with my built Jeep Cherokee. Totally bogus. Doesn't really count.

Two years ago my buddy and I decided to build a vehicle specifically for the event. We had a 98 Chevy Metro sitting around that needed an engine. We picked up an engine for free from another friend and installed it and had a running Metro that cost us a total of about $200. Then we must have gotten drunk or something because we cut the entire body off and dropped a 1958 Wacanda speed boat on the chassis. We ran the Gem State Gambler 500 and were awarded the trophy, again by popular vote.





Last year we pulled a 57 GMC pickup out of a field and got it running for the first time in 20ish years and did basically nothing to it and ran it. It ended up being way more reliable than it should have been.

 

[Beater400E]

That brings us to this year. I had no particular plans for this year, but as I've been working on restoring and modifying my 400E, I've acquired a couple parts cars. Last year I picked up a 94 S500 for $500 that turned out to have an engine block that was cracked in numerous places thanks to no antifreeze and a cold winter.

Then, this year I picked up a 92 500SEL for $500 that had a bad engine wiring harness. I swapped in a good harness and tuned up the ignition system with used parts I had laying around, and the car came to life. After an especially abusive Italian tune up, it quit smoking and now runs and drives pretty well.

Although I'd planned to part the 92 out, I realized it might make a decent Gambler for this year. I fixed a few more little things on the car like the wiper motor and blower motor and the car was nearly ready. Then I decided it probably wasn't dumb enough. That's when the idea came to me.

I could chop both cars up and weld them back together to make a really crappy limousine. Nothing anyone would be proud of. Nothing you'd want to drive or even stand near. My only goals are to make it as long as possible, and to have it run and drive and not break in half. That's really it.

Admittedly, I'm not yet 100% committed to it. I'm getting there though. I've pulled the 94 in and started stripping parts out in preparation for hacking.




I expect to actually make the first cuts tomorrow. The plan is to cut the 94 right around the front edge of the roof. Then I'll cut the 92 about 2/3 of the way back on the rear doors, hopefully preserving the ability to roll those windows up and down.

Then scrap steel and a welder and some very half-assed work.

I should be able to splice the fuel, brake, and rear suspension hard lines pretty easily. I'll do the absolute minimum of wiring to make the car run and drive and have lights. I'll weld together an exhaust system out of the two I have.

I'll have to do something about a driveshaft. Most likely I'll cobble something together out of the two I have and then take it down and have a professional fix it.

As I said, I'm not totally committed to it just yet. Until I start cutting up the 92 that currently runs and drives I guess I can change my mind. We'll see how far I get this weekend.

 

[Beater400E]

 

[Beater400E]

The 94 is officially bisected. The 92 is on the lift now. I'm going to do a few little maintenance items before it gets the chop since I doubt I'll be able to pick it up with the lift once it's been embiggened.

 

[Beater400E]

Started in on the 92 today. It needed a transmission service and new lower ball joints up front. The ball joints were a major pain to extract. I ended up heating them with a torch until they were glowing yellow. Once they cooled back down a bunch I was able to knock them out.

I moved on from there to gutting the trunk. I had previously removed and sold a bunch of components from the trunk of the 94, so I had some work to do to swap stuff over. I swapped the entire deck lid just for the sake of simplicity. The tail lights, trunk release button/lock cylinder, and various other bits got swapped over.

At this point I'm pretty much at the point of no return. I need to finish pulling everything including wiring from the trunk. I'll remove a few more parts underneath and then the steel cutting can begin.

Not sure yet what I'll do with the back window. Most likely I'll just break it and vacuum it up. Kind of curious how that will go with the double pane glass.

I expect to have the 92 bisected by the end of the week and to be doing initial preparation for joining the two by next weekend. I figure it'll take a week or so to actually get the welding and fabrication done. I tend to go for overkill on these kinds of things. I'm no structural engineer, so I just overestimate what is needed and use twice as much steel as I'd really need to get it done. At the end of the day it'll weigh 50 pounds more than necessary, but I'll be able to trust it.

I figure it'll take me 2 or 3 weeks after that to deal with wiring, plumbing, and other various details to make it actually roadworthy. The goal is to have the car ready for the original Gambler 500 event in Redmond Oregon at the end of June.

 

[Beater400E]

I finally have the 92 ready for the chop. I stripped everything out of the trunk and the back seat and pulled all the wiring forward into the cabin. All the drive train and plumbing from roughly the fuel pump back is gone, as is the fuel tank.

I'd decided the back window was just going to get smashed and vacuumed up, but nope. It's laminated. I wasn't expecting that. I thought it would have been tempered. So I'll need to remove that window. I'm figuring the car will get actually cut probably tomorrow, and then the joining of the two will begin this weekend.

 

[Beater400E]

Is it too late to change my mind?

 

[Beater400E]

I started the day today hauling the scrap front and rear clips to scrap and then cleaning up a huge heap of W140... leavings.

I now have the two cars shoved together and am starting the process of trimming them both to meet up in some kind of reasonable way. Wish me luck.

 

[Beater400E]

I had been hoping to get some final trimming and welding done this weekend, but I had to pivot to a different aspect of the project. I'd been thinking it would be good to add some structural reinforcement to help keep the chassis rigid after the two cars are joined. I'd been looking for some structural steel, but didn't want to spend a fortune.

I searched for used materials, but couldn't find anything suitable for any kind of reasonable money. New material was going to cost north of $500, and possibly as much as $1000 for the kind of structure I'd been wanting to add. So I had to get creative.

I started thinking of what else might have long structural steel beams or rails that I could salvage. After searching around for a while, I found what I needed.



It's a 75 Ford F600 U-Haul truck with the box removed. The frame rails are 1/4 inch thick 3x6 inch C channel. It's actually 3x8 from the rear axle forward. Totally overkill, but I can trim and section it to make it a bit more appropriate for my needs.

I bought the whole truck for $250. I towed it home on Friday. I immediately listed it on Craigslist and Facebook as a part out. By 7 AM Saturday I had people interested in the engine and the body. So I spent the weekend dismantling it. I started by harvesting the frame rail sections I needed.

I wanted roughly 12 foot rails, so I was obviously going to want to remove the rear axle. The trouble is this thing weighs as much as a thousand suns, so I had to consider what I would do with the front half of a truck and no rear axle. That's where the perfectly straight frame really helped.




I torched all the rivets out of the leaf spring brackets, lifted the frame away from the whole rear axle assembly and rolled it forward like 8 feet and welded it back to the frame. Then I chopped the frame off just behind the spring perch. 12 feet of frame obtained.

I then yanked the engine and dismantled the whole body. I had somebody buy the body for $300. No takers on anything else yet, but I'm confident other parts will go.




I've had a couple people reach out to me and tell me the wheels on this thing are somewhat rare and desirable. Most of these heavy duty trucks used split rim "widowmaker" wheels, but U-Haul ordered them with 22.5 welded Budd wheels, which are a coveted item for guys who have these old trucks. So those got removed as well. The remainder of the chassis will go to scrap later this week.

 

[TerryA]

Love pic 8 of 10 Looks RAT ROD ready!

 

[Beater400E]

Love pic 8 of 10 Looks RAT ROD ready!

Yeah, I admit, I considered trying to make it run and drive after it got chopped. It would be a hilarious toy. I decided I don't need another actual project though.

 

[Beater400E]

 

[Beater400E]

The DickTater is dead.

I finished parting out the UHaul and I actually made over $1500 in under a week on that. That surprised me.

The curse of having ADHD and low standards is that it doesn't take much for the next stupid idea to take your attention.

While browsing the interwebs I stumbled across a 93 500SL that had been sitting for 12 years. I offered $500 cash, and the seller said yes. So...



I had it running the next day and quickly decided this would be more fun than the limo project. So, the limo is getting scrapped.

The limo was always just about doing something stupid with a parts car before actually stripping it and scrapping it. Well, I now have another one, and I don't need two (and a half) so the limo is getting an early retirement.

Fear not, the $500 Offroadster project has already begun.

 

[Beater400E]

Farewell you big heap of garbage.

 

[TerryA]

Farewell you big heap of garbage.

View attachment 191634

Looks like you saved yourself from a
“PITA PROJECT”

 

[gsxr]

Darn! I was hoping to see this thing actually driving. Oh well.

 

[jhodg5ck]

that was going to be an insane amount of work... Early 140's are awesome, but they're a special breed!